Today is IDAHO | DAHOT
I am extremely privileged to know a young Transgender Man and offer him support through what has sometimes being an extremely traumatic time. Following on from my previous blog on relationships, with his permission I am able to share with you his story on coming to terms with his own ‘self-relationship’.
A basic explanation of the Gender Binary –
When we are born we are automatically assigned as male or female, and raised accordingly, these can very often be the complete opposite to our personalities, to the way we act, dress, behave, and our occupations. As our children grow if their behaviour does not fit within their assigned identity we attempt to limit their behaviour. Huge pressure is put upon them to identify with their associated gender. If they question their identity and they tell us we have assigned them the wrong identity we stigmatise them, poke fun at them, call them names….we question their mental health!
Research shows that the number of 10yr olds or younger being referred to the NHS experiencing transgender feelings has quadrupled over the last 5yrs.
Kai was born Georgia 18yrs ago. Georgia first began to think and feel ‘differently’ from the age of 14yrs old, she was very unhappy and couldn’t ‘figure out’ what was wrong. At 15 Georgia was able to admit to herself that she was bisexual. When Georgia was 16yrs old she ‘came out’ and felt fully supported by her friends and family. However as time went on Georgia felt as though there was still something ‘missing’ she was still deeply unhappy and was beginning to resent being a girl. At age 16/17yrs Georgia was eventually able to reconcile with herself that she no longer identified with the gender she had been assigned. It was at this point that Georgia spoke with her family and informed them of her feelings.
Georgia started her transition by becoming Kai.
Kai has now been waiting for 15months to have an initial consultation to discuss his next steps. Once he has had his initial consultation, over the course of 9 months he will have 3 monthly assessments to discuss his mental health, general well being and to evidence that he has support around him. On conclusions of these assessments 2 consultants will make a decision to Kai’s suitability to go forwards with HRT. After 6 months of HRT he will be put on the waiting list for a double mastectomy. Since recognising he no longer identified with his assigned gender, Kai is a much happier and fulfilled person. The experience has been far from easy and further decisions await Kai along his journey, no doubt there will be as many lows as there are highs. We wish you well Kai!
Kai’s story is just one of thousands of people who struggle with their sexuality or their gender. The LGBT community are constantly struggling against discrimination, bullying and hate crimes.
If you are struggling with sexuality or identity then please contact me here at Buxton Counselling and Psychotherapy Services.